There For Me
by CallMeAddicted
Summary: Hanna really did dream of Spencer while she was locked away and it made her determined to tell the other woman everything she's wanted to tell her.


**Slightly AU, meaning no fake Spencer (Alex). I just always hated that they ruined the beautiful scene between Spencer and Hanna by making it not even really Spencer! That broke my soul. So here's my re-write. Hope you enjoy; please review, fav and follow!**

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_It was on a chilly autumn afternoon when Hanna had first realized that her feelings for her friend Spencer were different than the feelings she'd held for her other friends. They were in the sixth grade and it was a Sunday. The whole town of Rosewood had attended the annual pumpkin festival and when it was over, their parents had allowed the five girls to walk home together. It had gotten chillier as the sun had begun to set and Hanna had seriously regretted the tween-temper tantrum she'd thrown when her mother tried to get her to bring a heavier jacket. But she had to understand, the heavier jacket would have made her look bigger and she couldn't handle Alison's insults that day. She'd wanted to look good. More specifically, she'd wanted to hear Spencer compliment her again when she wore the new cardigan her father had bought her a few weeks earlier. The first time she'd worn it, Spencer smiled and told her it brought out the sparkle in her eyes. Since that day, Hanna had endeavored to earn more compliments from Spencer because they were always so thoughtful and genuine. She'd known they were from the heart._

_ Emily, Alison and Aria had walked further ahead, giggling at some picture of some boy. Emily seemed to be giggling a lot less than the other two, but Hanna couldn't find it in her to care—she had been so focused on what she should say to Spencer to spark up a good conversation. Spencer had always been so smart, so well-rounded; she hadn't wanted to say anything that would make her sound dumb. A strong wind had blown, making Hanna's eyes tear; its chill took away her breath. She shivered. _

_ "It's so much colder now than it was earlier," Spencer had said as she glanced at Hanna._

_ "Yeah," she'd barely spoken, releasing a shaky breath which made the brunette turn and thoroughly look at her._

_ "Are you wearing anything warm under that cardigan?" _

_ "Um…just a t-shirt," Hanna had shrugged her shoulders. She'd been so cold at that point that her shoulders never came down from the shrug._

_ "Hanna! It's autumn now; you have to dress warmer than that. I know you have coats to wear."_

_ "I wanted to look nice and show off my cardigan."_

_ "You always look nice but there's no need to literally freeze your butt off for the sake of fashion." Spencer had taken off her own hat and hooded sweater and given it to Hanna. "Here, put this on now before you turn into an ice sculpture with gorgeous eyes," she smirked._

_ Hanna blushed, despite her frozen cheeks. "But what about you? Won't you literally freeze your butt off?"_

_ "Like a normal person attending an outdoor event in the fall, I layered up. See? Thermal shirt, flannel, hoodie, scarf." Left in her thermal, flannel and scarf, Spencer was still warmer than Hanna in her t-shirt and cardigan._

_ She had acquiesced to her friend's demand to don the cold-weather clothing. Once dressed in Spencer's hoodie and hat, she'd smiled and thanked the taller girl._

_ "No problem. I just want you warm and cozy," Spencer admitted. _

_ Feeling emboldened, Hanna had decided to show her friend her gratitude rather than tell her: she'd moved close to Spencer and held her hand and kissed her cheek. For the rest of the walk home, Spencer had been tongue-tied, shell-shocked, dumb-founded, even, but she'd never let go of Hanna's hand._

_ If not for her father, Hanna would have told Spencer how she'd felt about her soon after that day. At breakfast one morning, the conversation between her parents had somehow veered into the realm of behavior her father could never abide by. He'd recounted a story about a classmate of his in college who was gay and how he'd made it clear that he did not believe in, did not support and would not bear witness to his "misguided life choices." For good measure he'd thrown in that if he'd ever had a son, he would have been sure to never let that happen. While her mother had not shared his views, she certainly hadn't disavowed them. In this moment Hanna had learned that she'd had three choices: pretend to be into some guy and keep under the radar for as long as possible; love who she loved openly and despite her parents' views; or love who she loved in secrecy, at least while she lived under this roof. She'd chosen to pretend. It was too hard to face the fact that there was a huge part of herself she'd never be able to share with her parents and if they'd seen that side of her, they wouldn't see her the same again._

But now, after all they'd been through, after she'd literally been to hell and back, Hanna could no longer find it in herself to care what they may say or do. She'd lost her father a while ago, and it had nothing to do with who she was dating. She'd always have her mother and she was secure in that. But she could no longer bear to be without the one person who had always been there for her, selflessly and unwaveringly.

"Spencer?" she whispered. She lay on the sofa in the Hastings living room, her head rested on Spencer's thighs as the taller woman stroked her hair gently.

"Hey, when did you wake up?" the normally husky voice sounded even more weary.

"I never actually fell asleep. I was thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

"You," Hanna stared straight ahead into the fireplace. Her nails lightly scratched the soft denim material against her friend's thigh.

"What about me?"

"When I was being held by A," she started, "I was dreaming about you." She waited a few moments to listen for a reaction from the other woman. The lithe fingers combing through her hair slowed to a stop, but continued, so she kept going as well. "I was really scared and cold, tired. Everything was hurting and felt like I was actually going to die in there. Even with all we've through with this whole thing, I never felt so scared. I never felt like my life was over, but I did in there. And I had a dream about you."

"What was the dream about?"

"It was just you being you. You're always there for me. You helped me, even in my dream. You helped me to be strong and confident. You said something really smart and Spencer-y." She paused to smile at the sound of Spencer laughing at her explanation of the dream. "You did. You said something smart and brilliant but I understood it."

"Of course you did; you're smarter than you give yourself credit for."

"See! That's what you did. You made me feel smart and strong and you helped to figure out a way to escape. That's how I got out—because of you."

Hanna focused on Spencer's voice as it whispered all-too-familiar words. "Something real is actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact."

Abruptly, Hanna sat up and turned to face Spencer, studying her face. The brunette had tears streaming down her cheeks but otherwise, appeared peaceful, happy even.

"Were you there? How did you—"

"I had the dream, too," Spencer whispered.

"But how? I don't understand?"

"I don't know, Hanna, but of all the things in our lives that don't make sense, I didn't question this. I fell asleep. I tried so hard not to because I felt guilty. I just wanted to see you so badly and I fell asleep. But I'm glad I did because after that dream, I felt hopeful. I felt like I was going to find you and you were going to be okay."

"Spence…" the blonde launched herself toward Spencer, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck. "I need to tell you something. I've wanted to tell you since forever, hell since like, sixth grade," she laughed.

"That I'm a know-it-all dork with way too much brain capacity?" Spencer joked.

"Well we both know that, but no." She leaned back a little, keeping her arms locked around Spencer. For one of the few times in her life, she was more than confident that she would not fail in this moment. "I love you, Spence. I have for a long time and I don't want to wait any longer to have you as my girlfriend. Hell, I would even consider marrying you today. So we're done with all the guys we've been biding our time with. From now on, it's me and you. We're it. Okay?"

"Are you actually waiting for me to say 'okay?' It sounds like you've already decided for me."

"Good then, it's settled." After what's felt like lifetimes, Hanna leaned forward slowly, giving Spencer an opportunity to back out if she truly wanted to. Judging by the small twitch in the corner of her mouth, Spencer wasn't going anywhere. She had full permission to claim what had always been hers: Spencer's lips and her heart.

When the kiss ended (half an hour and a layer of clothing later), Hanna rested her head on her brand new girlfriend's shoulder as they watched the fire die down. Neither had the energy to get up and stoke it. The drama of the weekend had officially caught up with the women and they both laid still on the sofa, just about overtaken by sleep.

Just as her eyes shut to welcome a long, highly needed rest, Hanna sought reassurance from the woman who was always there for her. "Will you stay with me?"

It took no more than a second for the smoky voice to rouse from its shallow sleep. "Always."

They slept long and well, tangled in each other. And when they woke, they were ready to take on whatever obstacles the world—and _A_—had to throw their way.


End file.
